Today is the one-year anniversary of Lily’s Lip Service! wwwoooohhhooo! It’s an INCREDIBLE feeling for me to be here, with all ya all, celebrating my Lip Service’s one-year anniversary!!?!!!! It’s been so much fun and an enormous pleasure sharing with you this past year. I look forward to many years beyond this day. HAPPY V-DAY EVERYONE!
It is also MY personal two-year anniversary of teaching myself how to SQUIRT! Again, wooohhhooooo!! Remember that? In anticipation of this one-year celebration, I did what I’ve never done before – I went back to the beginning of Lily’s Lip Service posts and reread each and every post. What a way to reflect! I didn’t need to reread my posts to remind myself of my squirting two-year anniversary, of course. And it sure is a BLAST to go back to the beginning and reflect on the first year of posts.
THE YEAR IN REVIEW
I pulled out some of my personal favorite quotes from this last year:
“It’s tough to guide a partner when you don’t even know yourself what’s supposed to be happening.” 2/14/17
“Wanna talk about the fountain of youth? It’s not a mystery.” 2/23/17 speaking of swallowing my man’s cum.
“Sometimes when I’m driving….. I like to use the seam of my perfectly tight jeans and rub it back and forth over my clit.” #lifegoals 3/9/17
“Cucumber porn.” 3/30/17
“Sex Bucket Lists.” 4/20/17
“JUICES are delightfully refreshing.” 4/27/17
“Speaking of shoving a lollipop in your mouth to suck on – have you ever had a man shove your wet, creamy panties into your mouth? Now THAT is a sexy move.” 5/18/17
“Keep unnatural, unnaturally scented crap away from me, and especially away from my pussy.” 6/15/17
“It’s important to feel GOOD and surround ourselves with those who realize our VALUE in feeling good and confident and secure.”
“Indulgence is also absolutely one of my favorite words and one of my favorite past-times.” 6/30/17
*Ya, I will admit, I’ve been peed on.” 7/20/17
“I certainly want to be sure to have a freshly-fucked face for my BIRTHDAY tomorrow!” 8/24/17
“stop the jack hammering.” 9/20/17
“A Few of My Favorite Things: licking and getting licked.” 11/23/17
“HARD.” One of my all-time favorite words, used often in my blog.
V-Day & G-Day
Vag-Day & G-spot Day
So today is Valentine’s Day. Let’s chat about Valentine’s Day for a moment. I’m enjoying the posts on Facebook this morning reflecting “Happy Galentine’s Day”. A good friend of mine made a particularly BRAVE post this morning. I love her for it so much that I’m getting teary thinking of it. She posted photos from her gorgeous wedding. That doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? Except that while the wedding was her dream wedding, in the end the man did not turn out to be her dream man. I’d like to quote her exactly: “HAPPY GALENTINES DAY. As painful as these memories are, it completely shows the true loves of my life. Men may come and go but a woman’s love is rock steady. I am so blessed to call these and so, so many more amazing women my Valentines.” There’s really not much more that needs to be said here at this moment, except always remember WHO has your back. It may be that it’s the man in your life; but it’s never a good idea for it to be ONLY the man in your life. That makes sense, right? I will come back to this at a later date.
I haven’t often played “dress-up” in the bedroom. In fact, I have found that most men just want my clothes off pretty much immediately. My lover paid a visit the other day and he requested I wear a skirt, with no undies of course. When we settled upon the length of skirt he had in mind – I headed to my closet to search through my skirts. Fortunately, I had kept a pencil skirt I’d bought from Victoria’s Secret years ago, as part of a 3-piece business suit. It was quite sexy, with a slit up the back. I hadn’t worn the skirt because the slit had slipped, well beyond where it would have been acceptable office attire, therefore making it perfect for my current venture. Our venture turned into a mini fantasy. This is where I’m going to interrupt and say – follow thru with these types of ideas sometimes, even if you think it’s silly or you are afraid your partner may laugh! It really can add so much spice (and no one should be laughing at their lover for suggesting some spice!) Before my lover arrived, I laid the story line out for him. It went something like this: We are in the 1950s and I’m just home from my office secretarial job where I’ve been sexually harassed all day (because that’s just how it was back then.) I’m tired, I’ve let my hair down from the tight bun it was in all day, and I’m ready to relax. But not before I’m sure to have dinner started and a cocktail ready for my husband when he walks through the door from HIS on-not-so-difficult job. My lover’s response? “And you will speak only when spoken to.” OK!! It’s on.
We followed through with the story line. LET ME TELL YOU right now, WOW did the outfit and the mini fantasy spice up our already amazing sex that eve. We never made it to the bedroom; the chaise lounge in my living room, in front of the giant mirror was as far as we got. Some videoing happened that eve as well. Super fun to have that on hand when I’m lounging in bed and wanting him there with me.
If you decide to drastically change your appearance while in a relationship, then you take a risk that your partner may decide they aren’t as attracted to you. Is this unfair? No, not necessarily. I think we have an entitled way of addressing this topic and it sounds something like this: I can do what I want, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Ummm ok, but what if your partner doesn’t like your insanely long, scraggly beard or what if your partner doesn’t like your super bushy bush or what if your partner doesn’t like your “….” fill in the blank here; could be any number of things that we decide to do to change our appearance or allow to “let go”, so to speak. I can hear the potential feedback now (the thoughts went through my mind too): but we DESERVE to be loved, despite our appearance; Lily, are you fat-shaming? Too much emphasis on physical appearance is superficial, etc. However, I’ve given this quite a lot of thought and felt afraid to broach this topic, to be honest. I asked myself those questions and I’m not saying I have concrete answers for them. But I do believe this is a worthy conversation to have. As usual, keepin’ it real here.
We allllllllll change with time. Age changes our physical appearance, whether we want it to or not. It’s a challenge in America to have balance with that. I have gray hairs… and I’m admitting something that is tough for me to admit. I have a few gray pubic hairs!! Lol. They make an appearance when I decide to have a little furry bush down there. Yes, we all need to and have to accept certain changes, or we will go crazy with the horror of being “found out” (me, with the gray pubic hairs), or crazy trying to FIX it with any number of treatments available and I’m in favor of those, if that’s what you choose. TRUST me, I may get a facelift at 70. Who knows??!!? Just sayin’ I support all of us making ourselves feel fabulous, all in balance obviously. BUT, and this is a big controversial BUT, if we unilaterally decide to make drastic physical appearance changes during a relationship, then we run the risk our partners may be less attracted to us.
LOVE conquers all. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that whole-heartedly. Love is often blurred through all our relationship bullshit: our beliefs and expectations surrounding relationship. Our NEED to feel and be loved can easily turn into desperate attempts to gain love through dysfunctional means. I’m not talking about deep love shared between two people right now. I’m talking about SEX and attraction. Because that’s what I do, I talk about SEX. So, do I believe if there is deep love that your partner will leave you if you decide to grow a giant bush or beard? Nope, not saying that. But, they might look at that change and secretly kinda wish it wasn’t there. Can we talk about these things like adults? I would hope so.
I was validated in moving forward with this topic in my blog because of hearing a chef speak of his experience. I cannot recall who it was, but the story was something like his wife was in good shape, and he wasn’t. He’d let himself go, he admitted, and as painful as it was for him to hear it, yes his wife told him how she felt one day about his physical appearance when naked, it changed his life forever. They are still together, he makes healthy meals, he lost weight, etc. Our most vulnerable selves are in the hands of our partners. While it is imperative we are kind and loving, doesn’t it also mean when we are with a person in partnership, we have an obligation to CONSIDER them and their feelings? Either that or run the risk of alienating them? In general, this topic runs the risk opening a huge can of worms. I recognize life happens. I recognize we get tired of shaving or dying our grays away. Women birth babies and it changes them forever. I recognize we get busy in life, or get sick, and gain weight. I acknowledge we have reasons for all of it. There’s validity, absolutely, in wanting to STOP it all, to not care about appearance AT ALL. I commend it, I applaud it, I welcome it, I look forward to the day when I, myself, won’t give a fuck about my gray pubic hairs. I’m not there …and also am ok with that. The heart of this matter is – how does your partner feel about any drastic change you’ve made or allowed to happen in your appearance and also how does it affect how you feel about yourself, and therefore how you act in the bedroom. Do you feel vivaciously sexy sporting that 60s bush?!?! If not, then your partner might not be feeling it either. And that’s ok.
What’s NOT fair, is to have that attitude I referenced above: I don’t care what anyone else thinks, including my partner. We put our lovers and our partners in a box and it looks something like this – if you LOVE me, you accept me for who I am (true, I believe this) – this too often translates into – if you LOVE me, you won’t have an opinion about my appearance. That’s just unfair. Your partner IS going to love you. But if we expect them to blindly accept whatever we decide, well I believe that’s asking too much of someone. We pit LOVE against expectation and bash our partner’s own feelings on this sensitive subject against the rocks when we have zero consideration on the appearance matter. Hands down, that’s nothing more than manipulation.
Sometimes I have a bush and love it. Sometimes I don’t have a bush and love it too. Sometimes I think – damn, that bush is gettin’ in my way, and in my partner’s way. Time for it to go. I do check in tho. I ask – what do you think of that bushiness down there? And I mean it, I’m looking for the truth. What about asking – how do you feel about me waxing? Maybe the answer is, actually I’d like you bushier, babe! There’s always another side. If a partner insisted I waxed when I didn’t really want to well, discussion needs to happen. We can’t always comply with the wishes of our partners. But what’s the bottom line here? Communication and openness around appearance changes.
Only LOVE Allowed
I better not hear of anyone being mean, as if I’ve validated a strong urge to lash out at a partner for the very thing you’ve felt you’ve been tolerating for years. NO. There shall never be any “shaming”. Keep in mind – sometimes we can feel embarrassed and ashamed and that’s not because a partner is wrong in what they are sharing with us, but maybe they are right in what they are sharing. Taking ownership and responsibility for our feelings and emotions is going to be key here. Likewise, there’s no withdrawal of love or affection that is justified ever. There’s never an excuse to be anything other than kind, sensitive, and loving when approaching our loved one on this sensitive subject of appearance. I don’t care how hard it is for you. Plan it out, it deserves your most careful approach. Or, also run the risk of getting a thrashing and your eyes scratched out. That’s your fair warning!
Ultimately my point is there could be less sex happening. Sex isn’t love. Ya, I know, profound statement!! But, how often has it truly been misinterpreted as such. I’m not talking about casual encounters, or hookups. I’m speaking to those who are on the journey of relationship. Our expectations of our partners can be so outrageous at times. There is an unlimited number of articles that have been written on relationship expectation. It’s not my specialty but I do know – relationship expectation can be of the devil.
Back to the Basics
NOW back to my statement that I talk about SEX because SEX is what I like to talk about more than anything! Here’s a little something I wrote after my lover visited the other night:
I can feel the weight of you on top of me, on the lounge chair, kissing me, thrusting your tongue deep into my mouth, consuming every part of me, as I wrapped my legs around you, thrusting my hips up towards you to receive deeply all you were offering.
My BUNS are quite sore from straddling the chair and riding you last night. Twice a week and I’d have buns of steel. My clit was so happy and still a little swollen when I was driving this morning, the seam in my jeans felt really good rolling back and forth over it. The sense of feeling satisfied washed over me all day and into this evening. When I cleaned up our area of the living room, I noticed the puddles under the chair. Clearly you had me gushing. Thank you…. for the well-sexed dreaminess.
WHAT’S IN STORE?
Doors are opening!
I promised an announcement and here it is: SOON I WILL BE PODCASTING. Woop. We are looking at least a 9-month trajectory here, so in the meantime, you’ll continue to receive my thought provoking posts in writing.
I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU.
Go out there – BE sexy – BE you – BE.
As for ME? I’m gonna go get me some V-Day action! Look out, I’m on the prowl!