WOW I just had a GREAT time with my blue dong. Yes, I was playing with myself AGAIN.

Aren’t lazy Sunday mornings just the best? Lounging in bed, having orgasms. Toys are so fun to have around. I have a variety of toys. Some of them I’ve bought just for myself, altho any toy is welcome to join in with my lover and I, if we choose to do so. Nothing is off limits. Most often we so very much enjoy EACH OTHER that we don’t bring the toys into play. They are certainly around and available and we do use them, especially when we want to engage in some anal play. It’s fun for us to have BOTH his cock and a vibrator for extreme pleasures. I feel fortunate we have such incredible chemistry that it’s not necessary for us to have toys but we find it fun to use them here and there. If you have a partner you are committed to – but aren’t always up for the task of fucking – maybe because you’ve been together a while and raising kids, etc., then I really do think toys can super spice things up! For instance, the blue dong I mention often. It is fun to use alone and with a partner. It has a suction! I don’t always suction it to something, like today I didn’t. But the option is nice to have. My friend purchased one. She calls hers the “clear jelly”. Isn’t that cute?

Today I put some oil on my fingers, started rubbing my pussy, and even my legs too this time. My inner thighs. It was giving me quite the tingly sensations to tickle my own inner thighs. Felt good. Then I oiled the blue dong. Lately what I’ve been doing is practicing the kegels and contracting my vaginal muscles while I’m inserting the blue dong. It’s a practical way to practice contractions by pushing the dong out and pulling it back in as well. Practice Practice makes perfect! Practicing like this is especially motivating because it feels amazing too. Multi-tasking!

I recommend you also focus on your G-spot while doing this exercise because this is the motion that is going to make it possible for you to squirt! Think about where your G-spot is at, how it is feeling, and whether or not you are stimulating it. When you put your focus on the G-spot area and bring your attention to it then you train yourself to be able to do this during sex with your partner and how his penis is massaging your G-spot. Do you know where your G-spot is? You can Google it – but for a quick guide – if you insert two fingers into your vagina and massage basically at the back of your clitoris – it’s in that area and it feels like it has ridges and is unlike the rest of your vaginal canal.


If you haven’t squirted yet, or if you haven’t even tried, then I feel as though I am failing you. Today is V-DAY and it’s our TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! I want to continually inspire you to try and keep trying to squirt. It’s practice. I know. I’m just now starting to regularly squirt during sex (3 years later). I mean, my lover is a huge part of that. He is proactive in my squirting. He’s more committed to it than I am sometimes. When that happens – a psychological thing happens because I want to please him, and it makes me try harder too. I’m so glad he has stayed focused on it because I’m squirting often and more easily. It feels amazing ladies!!!!! I recommend you take a DEEP (teehee) dive into the squirting world. And guys, it will drive you WILD to see your woman so juicy. It cannot be a pressuring situation ever, but it does take a level of commitment from both parties, if you want it to happen during sex that is. Guys get your umbrellas ready because once you get your woman squirting – she’s gonna gush all over you and she may even squirt you in the face!


Ladies, we CAN squirt by ourselves any time we want. As I have said in the past, I recommend you practice and do it yourselves first before introducing your partner into the fun. A friend said to me the other night – teach my man so he can teach me. NOPE. That’s backwards. I want the woman to learn first. Primarily because it is empowering. I don’t want us women handing over our sexual pleasure to any man, as if HE is the reason for it. It is so YOU have the confidence to do it, and so that YOU know what it takes to do it, and YOU know how to do it. You need to understand the logistics of what it takes for YOU to squirt. You need to familiarize yourself with how it feels, what it takes for you to squirt, and where your squirt is coming from. Often when there is a penis inserted into the vagina, it covers the hole where the squirt comes from and, for that simple reason, squirting isn’t possible while something is inserted. That’s why you gotta get that mirror out and set yourself up in a lighted area so you can see what’s going on. Insert a dildo, watch what happens with the labia – your luscious pussy lips. They will naturally fold into your vagina as you insert something into your vagina. Pay attention to those details!

Familiarizing yourSELF is the #1 priority. Learning to squirt is not necessarily sexy at first, you know? Like when you learned to ride a bike. You probably crashed a few times. But then it caught – the feeling of balance! And the freedom that you felt when you could pedal and pedal and go forever was awesome! Learning to squirt is a similar feeling. You don’t ever forget how to do it and the payoff is soooooo worth it. You know I’m not lying.

Squirting isn’t related to orgasms either. It can happen at the same time, but it doesn’t have to be at the same time. In fact, both are quite separate and for the longest time I experienced them separately. Only recently have I been able to regularly combine orgasms and squirting together. And when they combine – well, that’s SUPER POWER kind of stuff! Women can orgasm in so many ways. So, ladies, unlock your super powers!! You will soar.

The blue dong has its positive qualities, but it certainly doesn’t replace looking at the face of a man with his cock buried deep inside you. And looking into their eyes – wow, that’s next level. But watching the face. Knowing that man is feeling as incredible as I’m feeling …. I love that.


Recently my lover offered me an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. He said I could tie him up! Oh ya, I took him up on the offer. I also blindfolded him. Gave me the opportunity to watch his face, mouth, and lips. He has a beautiful mouth and incredible lips. I knew this before, but it was fun to stare without him knowing I was staring. And to watch his lips while he was blindfolded as I was driving him wild with sensual acts, was a HUGE turn-on. Even now writing about it, it’s turning me ON!

My lover and I had a little rough patch. I mean, it’s a relationship, so it has its own issues despite the fact its primary purpose is pleasure. You would think it would be easy. It is, for the most part. But then sometimes the logistics get complicated, even in the simplicity. I think that’s how I ended up with the offering (of tying him up). It was an offering of peace. Haha one he knew mostly likely I wouldn’t pass up. He was right.

I cut four pieces of rope then tied them to the corners of my bed. Easy enough! I could’ve run out and bought the chains and cuffs and I will do that at in the future. But the point I want to make right now is – sometimes it’s best to keep it simple. No excuses. Pleasing our partners doesn’t have to be complicated – just thought out a little bit. What I’m saying is – don’t complicate it by thinking it has to be perfectly executed! I bought strawberries and whipped cream too and fed them to him while he was tied up and blindfolded. Sound cliché? It is. I almost felt silly doing it and it’s not like we both orgasmed when I put the strawberry to his lips (wouldn’t it be great if it were that easy!?). But it was an element of surprise. And who doesn’t like strawberries and whipped cream? At some level there will be a sense of gratitude; like – wow, she planned ahead. Hopefully that alone creates a feeling of care between you and your lover. I cared enough to go to the store, get strawberries and whipped cream, to shove in his mouth. Ha! You get my point here, I hope.

Looking back, the most favorable loverships I’ve had are the ones where we EACH had a genuine interest in making the other person feel amazing. Not only a focus on getting them off but to feel amaze-balls. It’s a deeper sense of satisfaction than just making sure we screw and cum. Time together and emotional connection play a key role in this desire. We ALL feel better and BEHAVE better when we are cumming. It’s healing, it puts us in a better mood, puts a smile on our faces. This is why online dating is shit-ass in my opinion. Too much is lost in the way of connection. Look for the spark, look for the chemistry, and take hold if you find it!


Speaking of behaving, I would rather see us misbehaving MORE in the bedroom. Yes, let’s misbehave and keep misbehaving!

Generally speaking, women are expected to behave. Even in the bedroom! This is the good girl vs. bad girl or whore vs. Madonna complex, discussed last June. So many words are attributed to women who misbehave: bitch, crazy, insane, emotional, having a meltdown, unruly, cunt, on and on it goes. How many times has this happened when what we are simply doing is standing up for what we believe in, getting what we want, or in the case of sex – asking that our needs and desires be met. Many women I know are still not asking their partners to pleasure them because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, they don’t want to cause a problem. Is it any wonder we are concerned when we are ignored, or even vilified for simply asking and speaking up? This is centuries old. And it is OLD, exhausting, and I’m sick and tired of it.

The name calling. Bitch, whore, cunt. Last June I discussed whore. I may as well go ahead and briefly chat about the word cunt. Being called a whore is one thing but equally offensive, or possibly even more offensive to most women, is being called a cunt. Especially by a man. I’d like to reclaim this word since it is one word used to describe MY body part which I find quite valuable: my vagina.

From dictionary.com:


Noun Slang: Vulgar.

  1. the vulva or vagina.
  2. Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
  3. a contemptuous term used to refer to a woman.
  4. a term used to refer to a contemptible person.


I want to know why my body part is used synonymously with such a negative connotation? Especially considering men and women alike LOVE vaginas. I didn’t ADD the italics in that definition. Even dictionary.com recognizes it is “extremely disparaging and offensive”. We really need to take a look at why we use the words of female parts in such a negative way.


Here’s a funny story for you. I got kicked off an airplane for calling the gate attendant a fucking cunt (a very long time ago). Whoopsie, it slipped out of my mouth a little too loudly as I was walking away from her. Cost me about $1,000 to rebook that ticket and a night in Minneapolis which I didn’t want to spend. She was being a cunt, let me tell you. Even her boss agreed she had not done what she was supposed to do – but it was too late for all that. The plane had taken off. I swore I wouldn’t say that word for a very long time. And I didn’t. Now I say it waaaaay too often. With a negative connotation. I’d like to stop that.

Samantha Bee essentially blew up the world with her “feckless cunt” comment (directed at Ivanka). It wasn’t because she was name calling; it was because she was being VULGAR. Again, a woman misbehaves and uses a bad word. Whoopsie! Get over it. Pretty soon we won’t be apologizing at all, ever, for misbehaving, ASKING for what we want, using bad words, or not smiling. Get at it ladies! Make me proud. ASK for what you want in the bedroom and don’t be nice about it. It’s just fine.


Since my early 20s I’ve often thought, and believe now more than ever, it is NOT possible for one individual to satisfy us on ALL levels, and in every way. Seems as though we’ve gotten ourselves into a real pickle trying to do so. I’m very lucky because people often share their SEXPLOITS with me. It’s so fun and certainly played a huge role in my decision to create this blog and write about sex. Not only do people share their fantasies (whether carried out or not), they often ask for my advice. Gives me ALOT of pleasure to give people permission to LET GO and experience; to VALIDATE their decisions and praise them for adventuring, trying new things. It may be as simple as, “we had sex at Noon on a Monday” to something like, “I licked his butthole” (lol). Obviously, I’m rarely able to share WHO shares for privacy reasons which plays beautifully into my disclaimer: “Nothing Lily says is to be construed as anything other than real, made-up, fantasy, from a dream…or any combo of these. If you think it’s about you-it probably is (not really).” The reason why it may or may not be about YOU is because I don’t believe any of us are alone in our desires and fantasies. True, not everyone wants or likes what I want or like; but someone out there does! Same for you. When I share stories and you resonate – it’s not necessarily because you’ve told me, but quite possibly someone else did, or we have that in common. Except, of course, the clear jelly. I can’t say whose toy that is – but she knows.

Inspiring exploration of sexuality and the POWER it brings is my primary goal. Lily’s Lip Service officially began with a BANG two years ago. It’s been exciting and FUN! Thank you for sharing your stories, thank you for taking me aside at the concert or the grocery store to tell me you’ve read this blog, thank you for being willing to be SEXUAL and sensual, thank you for sharing your stories and thoughts. It’s important, necessary, brings fulfillment, and ultimately heals us in the DEEPEST (teehee) way possible.

Carry on! and Happy V-Day!!