I’m baaaaaaack! WOW isn’t summer awesome! I just got back from attending the Targhee Music Festival last weekend. Sooooo much fun in an absolutely spectacular setting – at the base of the Teton Range. Fuels the soul, feeds the heart, invigorates the privates!
The history of the Tetons by the way: “Early French voyagers named the range les trois tétons (“the three nipples”) after the distinct breast-like shapes of its peaks, from which the modern name is derived. Teton Range. (2017, July 10). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 13:57, July 20, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Teton_Range&oldid=789998163.
No wonder I like them soooo much, cause who doesn’t like tits and particularly nipples??!??!
So, I have not forgotten about my promise to talk about golden showers but omg first let me tell you what happened the other night. I fucking met my neighbor and holy hotness!! Young hotness. Hellloooo Trevor. No, that’s not his real name, but still, helllooo Trevor. Can everyone give a big round of applause for Trevor? I’ve only lived here since February!! How he has escaped my radar is beyond me. In his naivete’ (credit for being super nice) he seriously said to me, “if you need anything AT ALL, knock on our door, there’s 3 of us, so we can help.” Oh, sure, Ok! YES. I can certainly think of something I could use your help with right now – a gang bang perhaps?!?! Does he even know the can of worms he opened up in my mind when he said that? No, he does not (again, so nice).
Now, I’m pretty calculating with my words. I’ve learned the art of restrained, effective communication…… in a situation like this anyway (we will not discuss what happens if I get pushed beyond my limits of patience). So I very carefully chose my next words: “well, ya, and if you guys need anything, like a cup of sugar ……” The rest of what was said doesn’t matter. A.CUP.OF.SUGAR. lmao. Seriously, it was meant to be a joke but I’m pretty sure Trevor didn’t know for sure if I was serious or not and I didn’t explain it to him. Haha so, I’m contemplating when I’m gonna go knocking on Trevor’s door, and what exactly I’m going to ask for. You’ll be the first to know if and when I do. I will give you allllllll the details; I promise!
FINDING FETISHES.
All right so back to our golden shower talk. Ya, I will admit, I’ve been peed on. I think I’ve probably peed on others as well. I have a vague recollection of this, although not real clear. But it wouldn’t surprise me. Golden showers are kinda fun. They don’t turn me on. In fact, the times I’ve been peed on I’m pretty sure it ended up in laughing. But, exploring is the idea here. First of all, I’m exploring if I do like it; second, I’m exploring if THEY like it. You know, when a person has a fetish, they may not always have the guts to bring it up. Sometimes taking the reins and bringing it up for our partner can be super helpful; explore options, find their fetishes. If you were shy, wouldn’t you want help with that? If you’ve been fantasizing about a pinky finger in your butt or a big black dildo in your bum, if your partner suggested it, wouldn’t it make it so much easier to just say, “yes, please”. Maybe your partner has dropped subtle hints. Be on the lookout for those. I mean, has your partner ever said something that seemed completely off-the-wall to you? And you look at them, like, wtf did you just say?? And they “laugh it off”? Welllllllll, pay attention to that. Because it wasn’t necessarily just a laughable thing. It may have been a “testing the waters” thing. You’ll know, if you really think about it. And if your reaction in the moment is total shock, that’s ok. Just contemplate it yourself for a while, if you need to. Then you could surprise them with it. Maybe it’s a toy; or maybe it’s a golden shower. The list is endless of course.
I first asked a guy to pee on me outside, adjacent to the train yard; after an evening of drinking. Go figure. LOL I don’t recall how I got cleaned up so don’t ask THAT question. But, pee isn’t that bad. I mean, I’ve heard that if I pee on my feet if I have athlete’s foot (which I do not now but have had it in the past thanks to an unnamed local hotspring), my pee has anti-bacterial qualities and it will rid my feet of that nastiness. I don’t recall it working. But, does pee have anti-bacterial qualities? If so, then it’s not so bad to get peed on, right? Pretty sure there’s people out there who like to, and want to, get shit on. So, there’s that. And, well, NO that is definitely not me. However, in comparison, I’m saying the peeing isn’t so bad. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made and we need to meet our partners half-way and if this is an area where my partner was turned on by getting a Golden Shower, well, it’s no sweat off my back. Sure, I will pee all over your face; or if you want to pee on me, yes, go ahead, pee on me. But NOT on my face or in my mouth. Nope. I’m not gonna open up my mouth for that. And I’m definitely not gonna swallow any of that. Don’t ask. Welllllll, ok, if my guy really wanted to pee on my face and he got a hard-on just thinking about me maybe saying yes to it – I probably would oblige. I’m a sucker for a hard-on. But,really you know me, I’d prefer a shot of cum over even a teeny tiny bit of pee in my mouth.
LOOK at it.
I did some serious bush WHACKING last night. I was so bushy, I was having a tough time getting to my clit without hairs getting in my way. Annoying esp considering the circumstances. It’s not good to be annoyed when working towards getting off! Being bushy is pretty fun. I know I’ve discussed hair removal before. I shave and trim and have waxed, like everyone else. But it’s pretty liberating to let the bush GROW if you haven’t done it for a while. As I just said though, it can get too long and it gets in the way. So, maybe for maximum sexual pleasure it is a good idea to keep her trimmed up. Speaking of “her” are you completely and totally familiar? If you are not saying YES right now, well, it is time to know her and know her well. According to the article I’m about to put a link below to only “26 percent of women look closely at their lady bits”. Maybe because we live in a society that refers to our vaginas as “lady bits”. Or, maybe it’s because we just are plain stupid and have bought into the bullshit that our vaginas are “taboo” and off-limits even to ourselves. Goodness. What a mess we’ve gotten ourselves into ladies. Get REAL with yourselves and seriously start checking out your VAGINA and your labia and even get a good look inside of yourself. Get out that mirror, get down on the floor or recline in your bed, put your legs up in the air, spread ‘em and LOOK.
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/female-anatomy/page/3/0?internal_recirc=outbrain_af
I’m going to put particular emphasis on this part of the article I’ve just linked to:
“”It smells bad down there.”
Of all the myths, this is the one that really pisses off the experts—especially because it keeps women from accepting and enjoying oral sex, the prime gateway to orgasm. “We are overly sensitive and insecure about the smell of our vaginas,” says sex educator Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., author of Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be. “And we are far harder on it than any partner would be.” Experts chalk it up to years of douche advertisements and the perception that vaginas should smell like rosewater. Um, they don’t. Every woman has her own unique scent, but most of us have a musky smell that men are biologically wired to be attracted to, says Lissa Rankin, M.D. “Your scent may change from day to day, depending on how hot the weather is, what you ate, and when you last showered.” That said, it’s good to know what you smell like on an average day so that you can pinpoint any changes.”
ALL THE GOOD SMELLS.
What I really and particularly love the most here is the validation that “men are biologically wired to be attracted to…” the scent of our pussies. Of course not ALL men are going to love the scent of MY pussy; just like I don’t love the scent of ALL men’s cock and balls, nor the taste of all men’s cum. But you get where I’m going here, right? If a man wants to get down in there, open those legs up reeeaaaallll wide, lay back, maybe grab a glass of wine, and ENJOY. Enjoy the show, because watching your man between your legs is a real turn-on, and enjoy the pleasure. Be sure you don’t fake any orgasms here. It’s ok to just enjoy pleasure without having a fake climax to fakely encourage the man. Also, be real sure you don’t cut yourself short because you are feeling self-conscious about your smell, or your juices, etc. Unless there’s something funky going on down there. Duh.
Does anyone seriously douche anymore? As in using, what is that crap that is sold in stores? “Summer’s Eve”? Gross. Stop using that if you are using it. If you want to douche then will you please use just water and/or essential oils? But, really, our pussies are not meant to be smelling like a fake summer eve scent manufactured in some god-awful factory. They are meant to be smelling like US, naturally. I just Googled “douche” and went to the shopping tab. LOL it’s making me laugh. Here are some of the phrases I’m seeing, “Missile Douche”; “Ultra Douche Black”; “Heart 2 Heart Deluxe Douche”; “Torpedo Douche”. wtf. Ok. NATURAL is better than “Sweet Romance” by “Summer’s Eve” sold at Walmart. I promise. Remember when I talked about using oils? MMmmmm olive oil. Smells sooooo good and if you need the extra lubricant, a perfect way to get a better glide; and you’ll smell tasty too! Massage oils work well too and they start out as just that – a massage – then can move quickly into lubricant. Handy Dandy right by the bedside!
Well, we’ve come to the time when I’ve got to say goodbye for now. I’ve been working on my book again! Yes, I’m writing a book – of – guess what?? Erotica. Juggling between the book and the blog has been challenging. I set aside the book once I started this blog in February; but we are all gonna want me to complete this book. It will make a fantastic bedside item – right alongside your natural oils for sliding and gliding.
Until next time when I will be writing about the yoni eggs! I’ve had a request for my opinion. I’ve got some research to do. Better text my lover!
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