DATING ADVICE?

A 32-year-old male decided to give me dating advice the other night. (Where’s the laughing emoji when I need it most). I scoffed but quickly made the decision to be diplomatic and give him reasonable opportunity to either: 1. Give me some good advice, or at least a nugget of useful information; or 2. Retract his statement and apologize profusely for thinking he had any advice to give me.

Neither happened and I ended up pulling out the “age gap” card. I really hate that card. But sometimes it’s just absolutely necessary.

He chose to insist there are PLENTY of men out there who can “do that for [me]”. He was referring to giving me sexual pleasure. Somehow, I’d led him to believe I was needing relationship advice. He doesn’t know me. After listening to his reasoning – I simply said, where are these men? I’ve looked. Still looking. Still waiting. Haven’t come across THEM. What he was trying to do is convince me to leave my current lover…for someone else. His simple logic isn’t sitting well with me.

SWAPPING SPIT

This boils down to: why let go of a GOOD THING right in front of me …just because MAYBE I’ll find something …the same??

A friend chimed in with an analogy. “Ya, like you’ve got a brand new vehicle – a smooth ride, it starts every time, it gets you where you wanna go – but just go ahead and give that away, hand off the keys to someone else, turn your back, knowing there’s PLENTY of good vehicles out there waiting for you.”

I’ve had to WORK FOR a good ride: first afford to purchase it, then the maintenance: take care of it, nurture it, shine it, oil and lube it up, love it.

LOVERSHIP

I quickly realized there was a discrepancy in mine and the 32 yo’s communications. Defining relationship, and defining what he’s looking for in a woman vs. what I’m looking for in a man helped us navigate the rest of our conversation. Because at first the 32 yo didn’t hear me when I said: what if I’m not LOOKING for or needing a partnership kind of relationship? I want a good lovership. I want sex, good sex. I’m content with my life and am fulfilled in all areas: career, family, health AND I happen to be having GREAT sex already…with a super hot guy who I have incredible chemistry with. Is it so difficult to comprehend? A woman who is satisfied and fulfilled in life, not needing much, other than a nice hard cock to penetrate her in a way that only that man knows SHE LOVES getting penetrated…. in alllll the right places 😉 😉 It’s HARD getting to know someone that well and chemistry doesn’t happen often. I’ve got the experience to back up that statement.

Male Role Models

I’ve assessed my male friend list – the age range is satisfying. Younger to older. I ask their opinions and advice. I’ve heard that the definition of a Cougar comes from a formula: divide your age in half, then add 7 years. (I’m not a mathematician and isn’t there a simpler way to figure this out-like subtract some years from my age and that’s the magic Cougar number?) But that formula puts me close to Cougar status: 31. I seem to have some 32-year-olds hovering around. Haha hovering…just above me as they’re about to shove their dick in my mouth.

Facials

That’s how I really prefer to start out having sex and then ending sex. With a cock shoved in my mouth. Sounds weird, doesn’t it.

That’s part of the beauty of a 32-year-old. They really don’t mind sticking their dick in your mouth and then cumming on your face…. no shame whatsoever! A facial is good for the skin I’m convinced. Also, a shot of those vitamins down the throat is an elixir straight from the Gods. Wanna talk about the fountain of youth? It’s not a mystery.

It’s fun to venture out of a comfort zone. Like, for instance, taking a load of cum all over your face. What’s the big deal? Unless of course it gets in your eye – that’s a big effing deal and prepare for it to burn all morning during that work meeting. A pleasant reminder of how HAPPY you just made your man feel.

Get your fair share!

That’s what makes ME happy. HIS happy face. Well, that and three orgasms makes me happy. Don’t jump to any conclusions here. I’m not taking it in the face until I’ve had my fair share of pleasure. Seriously, get real. That’s this week’s piece of ginormous wisdom: do NOT take that facial if you haven’t already gotten YOUR fair share. That goes for the ladies and the gents. Set the pace and don’t settle for anything less. Oh, and by the way: stop faking your orgasms. Period. You aren’t doing anyone any favors. Figure that shit out.

Until next time,

xxoXo