Leave it to Disney to give me something to talk about on Valentine’s Day.

Lady and the Tramp.

Seriously, it’s an adorable movie. And since it was V-Day I wanted to watch something with my little roommate that was cutsie. Kissy face I said because, you know, the spaghetti scene. The original Disney cartoon from 1955 seemed the perfect thing. And I’m enjoying it. Alot. It’s just ….. we have come a long way since 1955 and from the concepts presented in a film such as this, right?? I mean, RIGHT??? Welp, unfortunately I’m here to say, I’m not so sure.

I’ve just been perusing my drafts and writings for, quite frankly, the past year. I have not posted for a year (again) yet I’ve been writing. It’s so much material that I cannot summarize it all tonight. I reread last year’s post and oh my goddess – WOW if I may say so myself. I would recommend a reread if you have not read it recently, or if you didn’t read it at all. It’s impressive. Lol I honestly shocked myself.

The common theme I see myself writing about is this: relationship conditioning. I feel like I’m preaching to the choir when it comes to women my age – in our 50s. Even women in their 40s are getting a strong grasp of this. It is becoming super mainstream on all the socials – women are happier single and home with their cats. It’s because quite frankly we are sick of taking care of men. We are losing our steam, especially as we age, to care for others. We are sick of the relationship parameters thrown at us simply because we are all victims of relationship conditioning. We are ready to step outside what has been considered the norm – and create a new dynamic. Most men are not ready for this. And far too many young women have not been afforded the opportunity to even grasp this concept in its infantile stage.

As women we haven’t come nearly far enough on our journey away from the 1800s, 1900s, and even 2000s. I think deep down we all know this. There’s also an attitude we’ve gained so much ground that we should be happy. Which, we are. We have tons of gratitude for being able to vote, own property, have a checking account without a man cosigning, and divorcing our husbands should we choose.

There’s been some research about our bodies and our sexuality, outside of the parameters of childbirth. But believe it or not it is still happening that women aren’t being believed, even by female doctors, some of the most basic truths about our bodies. For instance-female ejaculation, or squirting as it is so fondly called in porn is still hotly contentious despite clear and convincing, scientific evidence it is ACCURATE, TRUE, AND VALID, not to mention thousands of women’s experience, my own included. And anyone who knows me – I am going to die on this cross. It’s the inspiration for this blog, and it’s my life’s mission to convert as many women as possible into becoming squirters for life.

I talk all the time about squirting and I defer to some of my previous posts, as well as the book I am always recommending: “Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot” by Deborah Sundahl.

RECLAIM IT, I MEAN IT!

This writing is about something more serious and is the reason behind why squirting is still controversial-we have still not fully reclaimed our power. Not in the bedroom, and therefore not in the boardroom. And men are fighting us every step of the way. Many are pissed we have come this far and certainly do NOT want us to go further. Quite frankly they believe we are less than them. And there are a lot of them

The other day an old, white man just asked me in a hotspring pool, “If I go under – will you rescue me?” I sorta laughed, and admittedly said, “maybe.” He didn’t listen for my response tho. Either that or he heard and didn’t care, as he just kept talking.

There were so many thoughts that ran thru my mind in that moment that would have been much more offensive so the fact I was able to only mutter “maybe” was a miracle. Men want to be taken care of. And we can easily say this is true of an older man, but frankly it’s true for all ages of men. Man-child is a common phrase for a reason. The term “trad wife” is coming up way too often in social media. It’s disturbing. In case you don’t know – essentially men are looking for a “traditional wife.” As in, they want free slave labor and sex on demand. They need to pay for the caretaking but when they disguise the ruse behind “trad wife” it becomes more difficult to spot the BS. This is what we are battling.

ASK, PLEASE.

So, what’s the solution? I firmly believe it has a large part to do with how we act and behave around S.E.X. One of the main reasons why women are choosing to remain single is because they have given up on the idea of actually finding a partner who knows what the eff they are doing when it comes to pleasuring a woman and we are EXHAUSTED with doing the emotional labor of teaching and training. Like, guys, grow the fuck up. Good sex for a woman has very little to do with endless pumping and pounding. You know, the porn version of sex. Well, it does have to do with that a little bit, but that’s not the focus. Yet it’s the only thing sooo many men know how to do. How is this still happening? Because WE aren’t communicating clearly and ASKING FOR WHAT WE WANT AND NEED. We’ve been conditioned to think we will hurt their feelings. We have been conditioned to take less, be less, feel embarrassed when THEY have no clue. I mean – how much of this is ringing true for at least 90% of you reading this? We must be reclaiming our sexuality. It’s the weapon of the centuries.

What is “our sexuality?” I will start by saying this: you can have orgasms in SO MANY WAYS that if you are simply having clitoral orgasms, you are missing out and you haven’t fully claimed your power, you haven’t even come close to claiming the full extent of possibilities of your pleasure. And the simple question is – why are we denying ourselves? Simply so that we don’t make men feel “less than?” COME ON. We also start by first, knowing how we can come, knowing how to squirt; getting to know our own bodies. We owe it to ourselves and to future generations. Our sexuality is so much more, but orgasms in different ways and squirting are two excellent places to start.

BOWL OF POPCORN, LOADED WITH BUTTER

I’m both disturbed and aroused by pretty much every sex movie or show I watch. I will watch them obsessively for a bit – both to write about them and because I’m aroused by them. I purposefully ignore the dysfunction in favor of the sex, the sexual tension, the longing, and desire.

Take for instance the movie 365 Days. Ok I am already smirking about this movie just writing the title. And, fyi, SPOILER ALERT & trigger warnings.

365 Days is …. aaahhhh a movie based on a mobster kidnapping a woman he became obsessed with. Lol These movies (there’s 3 of them in the series) are wrong for so many reasons.

Kidnapping

Rape

Dysfunctional relationship – sadistic

What is it about this power dynamic that women seem to LOVE tho. Same w/50 Shades of Grey. (Sidenote: the woman who wrote the 365 Days series was inspired by 50 Shades of Grey. INSERT CITATION.) A billionaire mobster boss with an insanely dangerous temper, who has his way with everything, and everyone, kidnaps a woman and gives her 365 Days to fall in love w/him. Somehow it takes her less than 2 months to do so. I cannot vouch for the storyline of these movies, and, in fact, the plot of the 2nd movie didn’t really become clear to me until it was about 30 min from being over…. but there was SO MUCH GOOD SEX I just didn’t care. The woman in the movie quite frankly has no choice in the matter; and the mob boss male generously tells her she can make it easy or difficult-her choice. He also generously doesn’t rape her (there’s borderline scenes) and he tells her she’s gonna have to ask for it, beg for it before he will fuck her. Then when she does ask, he withholds. Aaahhh the early stages of true love in 365 Days.

What in the actual fuck, right? The first film came out in 2020. I’ve seen it advertised numerous times on Netflix but always avoided it due to the base-level, sadistic, misogynistic premise of the movie. However, for some reason I recently decided to try it. The first 30 min is rough, and I nearly turned it off but felt compelled to keep going due to the insane HOTNESS of the actors. Then as the sex scenes started revving up, I had to start to admit I was enjoying that aspect. We aren’t talking our usual American movie sex scenes. This is a Polish film with Polish women and Italian male actors. And I’m here to say-I cannot get enough of these actors and the sex scenes. It’s soft porn… and realllllly well done. As per usual, the majority of the sex is male-focused. HOWEVER, there is more female focus than any other movie I’ve watched…. lots of oral for her, lots of positioning that would be beneficial for her. The editing of the sex scenes is superb. And have I mentioned how HOT the actors are? For the sex scenes alone, I recommend the movie. Do not pay attention to the plot. Or you won’t make it through.

But this is the thing – this is what we get as women – soft porn with horrible plots or hard-core porn that is completely male-centric. I think we want to convince ourselves it’s because men, in general, like porn more. But, is that really true or is it that we aren’t claiming our sexuality and we certainly aren’t offered anything all that much interesting to watch because we want female-centric films, which are rare. Give us better porn!!

For those who may not know what soft porn is, from Urban Dictionary we get: “Pornography that is relatively less visual then its antecedent “hardcore porn”. Does usually not contain close-up images of genitalia, will not display bodily fluids and does not require its participants to actually engage in sexual activity.” https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=softporn

the price of conditioning=the challenge!

Back to my little roomie and I watching Lady & The Tramp and there’s the scene when they are having a baby shower for the main couple – Lady’s couple. The women are in the living room cooing over cute clothes; the men are in the den smoking and talking about how it’s going to ruin his life. My little says – and that’s the difference between boys and girls as though she had it figured out. OMG. I immediately had to say something and what came out was – only because we are victims of conditioning. Not only are we conditioned to act that way, we are conditioned to expect it, and we are conditioned (heaven forbid) not to question it.

YES, of course, we are also questioning it. But we gotta ramp it up. Big time. We need to be looking into the dark corners and sweeping and brushing away the cobwebs. We need to come out of the closet! Time to continue to claim our sexuality and harness it and heal the world.

HAPPY lily’s lip service ANNIVERSARY!! IT’S OUR 8TH!!

THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY OF MY SQUIRTING JOURNEY!!

Some famous, or infamous, or my personal favorite quotes of love, lust, and passion:

“O here will I set up my everlasting rest

and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh.

Eyes, look your last.

Arms, take your last embrace!

And, lips, O you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death.” Romeo & Juliet

 

*If they substituted the word ‘Lust’ for ‘Love’ in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth. Sylvia Plath

*”May we love ourselves in the absence of the lover.” Jeff Brown.

*“I just couldn’t live in a world where you didn’t exist.” Edward to Bella in Twilight.

*”85% of my marriage is the stuff people dream about.

What’s the other 15%? Sex.” From Sex/Life on Netflix.

 

“THAT FEELING. The one that makes it impossible for you to look away from them at any given moment. When your body and soul feel as if they could burst into flames whenever the two of you are near, when all you are able to do in their presence is to fight the urge to lean forward and…. and touch their lips with yours.” Daphne, Bridgerton Season 2, Episode 3. (And good fucking GOD I can feel this in my bones, in my heart, in my soul, in my toes. It’s intoxicating, it is ecstasy.)

*“He takes her love, but it doesn’t feel like mine
He tastes her kiss, her kisses are not wine, they’re not mine

…

Is it a crime?
Is it a crime
I still want you?
And I want you to want me too.” Sade. Is It a Crime.

 

*”You are the bane of my existence….. and the object of all my desires.” Anthony to Kate in Bridgerton, Season 2.

I love you. XOXXOOXXXOOOXXXXOOOOXXXXXOOOOO