HAPPY 7th ANNIVERSARY TO LILY’S LIP SERVICE!
God V-Day is an emotionally loaded day, isn’t it??! It’s a LOVE-hate relationship for me. Love is in the air, yet pressure abounds. Self-imposed pressure, partner pressure, friend, and family pressure. What do we want to offer? What do we want to GIVE, do we even WANT to give something to anyone, what will we receive, if anything? Some hate it, some love it, some need it, others brush it off. And it allllll makes sense. I love it because I first taught myself how to squirt on V-Day (is this considered the ultimate self-care?). Then one year later on V-Day 2017 I started this Lily’s Lip Service blog.
SPOILER ALERTS in this post:
Bridgerton (Netflix)
The Holiday (movie)
Fifty Shades of Grey (movie series & books)
Titanic (movie)
With the re-release of Titanic on its 25th anniversary one year ago V-DAY 2023 I read some interesting contemplation of the movie. The thought Titanic is a LOVE story is all that is wrong with the world. It is NOT a love story. It is a story of passion and chemistry, yes, which can be PART of a love story-oftentimes it is the beginnings of a love story-but it is NOT what sustains a love story or a continuing relationship. It is not the GRIT of relationship. It is certainly not LOVE per se. And with Titanic’s tragic ending we were not afforded the opportunity to see whether Rose and Jack’s instant passion and attraction would sustain for a lifetime. We would like to think so and we grasp the hope it would have. Because this is what we’ve been conditioned to desire: a one true love that has passion and connection.
LOVE TAKES ON MANY FORMS
How do we define LOVE? What is LOVE?!?! This thing we get so confused and mixed up within the confines of romantic and sexual relationship. I mean good god – we have GOT TO get real with ourselves and redefine some phrases and thought patterns that are clearly outdated.
A Google search turns up this “true definition of love:”
I whole-heartedly agree with the first definition: “a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another.” FULL STOP.
Love. Noun. 1. a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons.
Love. Verb. 1. to hold dear: cherish.”
“Love.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love. Accessed 13 Feb. 2024.
The blur enters with the second part of the definition: “attraction based on sexual desire: the strong affection and tenderness felt by lovers.” I LOOOOOOVE TO LOOOOOVE THIS FEELING as described here but this is not love. I have felt it. It feels like pure magic. It feels like I’m tapping into something very close to God. It is ecstatic, erotic, life changing, DEEP (teehee), fulfilling, satisfying. It is a fleeting feeling if not sustained by the GRIT of dedication to maintaining the connection. Love and SEX are exclusive. They MAY eventually coincide. It is up for grabs determining how long it takes to develop and coincide.
Alone love takes on many forms. In my experience:
There is LOVE that is ever-present, available to all at any time. It simply IS.
There is LOVE that develops with time (the time is ambiguous and varies), often referred to as “falling in love” or being “in love”.
There is the love between a parent and a child.
There is the love of a family member, even if we do not like them.
There is love in friendship.
There is love of a pet.
There is love of humanity, even if we do not like all humans.
There is love of god, or a higher power of choosing.
There is love of self.
Inherently, I believe we are all capable of tapping into LOVE instantly. It is a stream, an energy that is ever-present. Some may call it God. Some may call it Goddess. Some may call it a “stream of consciousness.” Right here and now – take a moment, take a deep breath and FEEL love. It doesn’t involve any THING or any ONE. It just IS. And it is available to us at any TIME.
Some believe in “love at first sight.” I think it is possible to have this feeling for someone. Most often it is attraction or chemistry; that pull we feel for unknown reasons toward a particular human. It is not a guarantee for long-term relationship. And only time will tell if it is true “love.” The kind of love that keeps people together along with the grit of hard work. And LOVE alone will not sustain a relationship. Why? Because as humans, we fuck shit up. Most often we fuck it up with our expectations of another human. Another way we fuck up LOVE – we confuse it with chemistry, lust, attraction, desire, joy, bliss, ecstasy, yearning, and obsession, to name a few feelings.
HOW FAR HAVE WE REALLY COME? DUTY vs PASSION.
I’ve been enthralled (obsessed) with Bridgerton. It is set in the early 1800s. That seems long ago and as though we’ve come far since. And women have in many ways. Yet, how far have we really come? It is poignant to current times. There ARE concepts that are hanging on.
Finding a husband or wife
Honor
Duty
Marriage before sex (for women)
In love vs in lust
Inequality
Women grasped at the concept of “falling in love.” For one thing back then women were so ready to say they had “fallen in love” when in actuality they were simply obsessed because they were desperate to MARRY. This was due to the pressures of the times, right? If they didn’t marry – they were a burden to their fathers and families, they were looked down upon, they were treated with disdain, with skepticism. Desire? That wasn’t something a lady was capable of, let alone ALLOWED.
Classes of people were crazy and they determined who married whom. It controlled everyone’s actions out of fear of being ostracized. A time when women were betrothed despite their desires or objections. A time when women were expected to be virgins until they married or their entire families would be RUINED. Even with just a hug alone in a room. When men ruled and women were simply property, considered spinsters if not married by 25.
THE ONE? A soulmate search.
I’m not sure if I’ve lost my way or found my way. Either way I don’t find the notion or concept of one true soulmate at all realistic or in the slightest valid in any way, shape, or form.
Why do we believe we NEED to spend our entire lives tethered to ONE person?!?! It seems quite odd to me. Of course, I am speaking from the perspective of having had several long relationships, in varying degrees of commitment, am currently single, in my 50s, raising my sister’s child. My perspective has shifted since my 20s when I married my high school sweetheart.
When I married back then I was practicing Christianity-because that’s how I was raised. Quickly I began to question many things that didn’t make sense. Having been raised in a religious household certainly defined my path for a while. As most former Christians know-any questioning is considered sacrilegious. I’m convinced the reason why is because of the ridiculousness of some of the things written in the Bible. I love the love chapter-who wouldn’t? I posted it at the end of this post for your reading pleasure. I believe Jesus walked the earth and was a being who captured the hearts and minds of many, gaining followers. Similar to, for instance, the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa. There are extraordinary individuals who come along and inspire us to become better than we may have thought to do on our own. They are heavenly examples.
But then entered the [male] authors of the Bible. It’s a fantastic historical accounting. Amazing how it has taken hold as the WORD OF GOD as if filtering thru ANY man wouldn’t potentially create bias. It is subjective. Duh. Makes zero sense to me this book has such an impact on so many in today’s world.
I digress slightly because I need to lay a little bit of groundwork for where I’m headed. When I got married, I believed at that time it was FOR LIFE. I recited the same vows so many people before me and since then have recited. ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART. And wow that’s a tough statement to reconcile with, even when you are leaving an abusive relationship, or even when it’s just that two people have quite literally grown apart. But, ultimately, SO WHAT?!?! It was great [sort of] while it lasted. And now we go our separate ways.
GOD doesn’t give a fuck. He doesn’t. Neither does the goddess. We impose rules, morals, obligations, and values upon OURSELVES. Don’t blame god. He hasn’t created a book for us to live by. If he had then we would still be following these scriptures, also found in god’s book, the Bible:
1) Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
2) Genesis 38:8-10 NASB
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.”
3) Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
4) Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
5) Exodus 4:24-25 NASB
Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.”
6) Samuel 18:25-27 ESV
Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.
7) Leviticus 20
“18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.”
8) Leviticus 24:16
Whoever utters the name of the Lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death.
9) Kings 2:23
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
10) Deut. 28:53
Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.
https://ceoworld.biz/2011/10/13/top-10-weird-or-bizarre-biblical-quotes-from-various-passages-strange-verses-in-the-bible/. Accessed Feb 13, 2024.
Who wrote that sick shit?? LOL what were these people up to?? So bizarre.
Back to-God doesn’t give a fuck what healthy adults are doing. When I see someone like dumb bitch Vicky Hartzler, a GOP Congresswoman who was CRYING (Google it) as she testified before the Senate, because in the United States of America we are STILL debating who can marry WHO and SHE believes soooooo deeply she knows what’s right for EVERYONE and she feels sooooo certain that marriage is only supposed to be between a man and a woman that she is crying about it-when I see Vicky crying like that over something she needs to simply ignore – a certain kind of fury wells up inside me and I want to burn Bibles on the steps of some very dramatic building with a huge set of stairs. Lol CUE the White House. We don’t need this historical record to tell us how to be good humans or live our lives in 2024.
SOME PERSONAL HISTORY OF OUTDATED CONCEPTS
When I was young, I thought it was WEIRD Christians would go to other countries and travel into jungles to speak to the people about Christianity simply because they believed those “savages” would go to HELL if they didn’t accept Christ into their lives. It didn’t compute. I asked [myself of course because as I already said questioning was frowned upon and do we blame them because REALLY what is the answer to this question:] WHY WOULD GOD SEND PEOPLE TO HELL WHO DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE WAS?? Omg talk about white privilege and talk about an attempt to influence. So many Christians are afraid their children will learn too much or be exposed to harmful things (ie gender fluidity or heaven forbid simply using inclusive language). I was kept in the dark about too many things and had a shitty education because I went to a Christian school (where there was some seriously fucked up and inappropriate sexual abuse going on) because my parents were attempting to INFLUENCE me. And it worked for a short time because I didn’t know anything else and I was in a holding pattern of go-with-the-flow until my early 20s. I began questioning more and more and the answers were either not there or completely ridiculous. So, when it came time for me to divorce my husband, I certainly didn’t have ANY qualms over those stupid stupid vows.
I had been duped! That’s the bottom line. Would I have gotten married had I not been a Christian? Probably not.
AND NOW I WILL TIE THIS IN
(mmmm who doesn’t enjoy getting TIED up-see 50 Shades)
Religious fanaticism has formed the groundwork of us grasping for the ONE PERSON who we NEED to spend our entire lives with. What a recipe for failure. And that’s what’s happening, right?? Divorce rate at an all-time high?!?! Well of course. And if the rate has fallen it’s because people have wizened up and are finally NOT getting married in the first place.
Hey!! If you’ve been married to one person for a LONG time and it’s going well for you both GOOD FOR YOU. I’m not saying it can’t happen or should never happen. I am saying I want it to NO LONGER be the norm because we are breaking free from religious constraints and concepts we’ve been marinating in since before we were born. And if it isn’t religion that dictates marriage for LIFE then it is the concept women need to be taken care of. That used to be true because we had ZERO rights. Now we have the rights but are still working to break free from the constant barrage of propaganda surrounding women birthing and the most harmful of all: that we must find our SOULMATE.
These are made-up constructs. We’ve had years and years of poor media depictions. It’s used to control women, keep us in our place, and it is very much alive and well. Many of us, myself included, still buy into this BS. It is hard to break free. Women who choose NOT to have children will tell you their biggest critics are other women. Me choosing to remain single and NOT search for a man-my biggest critics have been women. It’s often one simple comment (disguised in a caring tone) – don’t give up hope. LMFAO honey, if you believe my decision is based on lack of hope you aren’t listening to me. In this country, in this WORLD we would all do better if we simply focused on making sure WE ourselves are doing the right thing for our SELF and stop worrying about our neighbor so much.
I started out wondering WHY people feel the need to be tied to ONE PERSON for life. I’m sure it’s, for one, reassuring. We can settle into the fact that someone has our backs. They care and should something bad happen they will care FOR us.
But there is TRUE danger in relying on this level of commitment and we see it time and again. Sometimes people separate amicably but most of the time not. And when we wholeheartedly get ourselves worked into a frenzy that another person will be there forever…. well, that’s alot of pressure on that person. Not everyone can handle that. Even though they had good intentions when they said the vows-people change, circumstances change. Often, I think we are so good at being delusional (me in the past) we overlook ALLLLLL the red flags. They were there all along. It’s undeniable. But in our desperation to conform to societal pressures-which are based upon CONTROL/religion-we overlook all the negatives and plunge into marriage “until death do us part” to see where the chips may fall.
Can we simply change the language around marriage a bit and be REALISTIC and HONEST with not only ourselves, but our partners, our families, and our communities?? I know it doesn’t sound quite as nice as “I will be with you FOREVER” but how about this-you matter to me now, you will matter to me tomorrow, and no matter what happens or where we end up-I will still LOVE you. I may not like you and I may no longer be IN LOVE with you, but I will love you. Because the world needs more LOVE. The world needs more expressions of LOVE. I love each of my exes. Has there been pain? Yes. Has there been times of setting boundaries? Yes. But bottom line is I love each of them. And I wouldn’t be ME in the present without my time with them in the past. And I thank them for it.
I’ve gotten to a point in life where I’m laying here in bed, it’s 3:24am, I’ve been awake since 2 and I’m finding myself compartmentalizing my life in decades, according to the man I was with. In my 20s I was with so and so, my 30s with so and so on Maui, my 40s with that lover, now in my 50s I’m raising a child (I didn’t birth). And I’m asking myself-what will my 60s look like? Will I finally find MYSELF?!?!
But there is always a hint of longing and yearning. Because I’ve had “that feeling.” It’s “THAT FEELING” as described by Daphne Bridgerton. Daphne is questioning her brother’s decision to marry a certain woman he has chosen out of duty, knowing full well he is in love with the woman’s sister. And so, Daphne nonchalantly states to her brother she agrees with his decision if he, indeed, has “that feeling” for the woman. He takes the bait, unknowingly, as she has trapped him. He questions, “that feeling?”
“THAT FEELING. The one that makes it impossible for you to look away from them at any given moment. When your body and soul feel as if they could burst into flames whenever the two of you are near, when all you are able to do in their presence is to fight the urge to lean forward and…. and touch their lips with yours.” Daphne, Bridgerton Season 2, Episode 3. And good fucking GOD I can feel that in my bones, in my heart, in my soul, in my toes. It’s intoxicating, it is ecstasy.
HISTORY SPEAKS
Is it pathetic to want to tell someone I had an amaaaaaazing sex dream – and they were IN IT – even after not seeing them for several years? The “that feeling” quote gave me all the feels and it took me back quite literally 13 years ago to an impressive sexual and intellectual obsession I had with someone – it was mutual – and the memories brought me to my knees. Then I had the sex dream and all I wanted to do was talk to him. If you’ve felt “the feeling” then you know and can resonate. You may even have different words to describe it but the ESSENCE of having that kind of feeling for someone, while nearly indescribable, is described by Daphne very well imo.
I’ve connected that DEEEEEEPLY with several men this lifetime. All have felt as though they were THE ONE. And they were-for the duration of the relationship. But for quite some time now I have been openly unsupportive of the concept that we are meant to only connect with ONE person of the opposite sex and that there is only one true soulmate. I believe that because I’ve experienced differently. Is my experience right for everyone? Absolutely not. But what I’m seeing and experiencing is we having a huge surge in gender fluidity as well as a reckoning and questioning of the constructs of marriage and relationship. It’s refreshing and needed. In fact, we are desperate for it.
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
I mean 50 Shades is wrought with a lot of wrong and it’s gross, disappointing, boring, cliche’, and at times laughable. I’m not going into all the reasons why this film is 50 Shades of Fucked Up (boundaries, safety issues-getting into a heli when she barely knows him, he was groomed and raped by his mom’s best friend). The damsel in distress is rescued by the billionaire fucked-up male. Tho Anastasia is not truly a damsel in distress they first have her trip and fall as she’s walking into billionaire Christian’s office, meeting him for the first time. And we are immediately set up with the power disparity. THEN when she goes out with friends to “tie-one-on” having just completed her final for grad school and she’s wasted, not her usual style, Christian rescues her. And the writer has to do it this way, right??? Because somehow Anastasia has to appeal to Christian’s sexual proclivities as a potential for his sexxing dysfunction of dom/sub. Dominant/Submissive for those who don’t know (in the end he admits he is actually a sadist – he gets off on punishing women).
As we proceed thru this movie it is further disappointing as the writer had ample opportunity to empower young women yet chose not to. Just like the movie The Holiday. Cameron Diaz’s character meets Jude Law’s character and they hit it off instantly. He asks her what she thinks of foreplay. In a matter of just a few fucking words these writers and actors do every woman on this planet a disservice when Diaz says, “I think it’s overrated.” AND HEREIN lies an issue we have as women. Downplaying our sexuality is getting OLD af.
One of the main scenes in 50 Shades where they had ample opportunity to further every woman’s sexual confidence is when Anastasia loses her virginity. Christian supposedly takes a gentle approach to deflowering this girl (lucky him, right?) Here we have a young woman, a virgin in her early 20s, and the best we get is this man, who is beyond sexually fucked up, having lots of experience, stating he needs to “rectify the situation” before making her his submissive, after having just told her he doesn’t make love he FUCKS. HARD, he moves waaaaayyyy too quickly to penetration. We get a [barely] decent scene of him taking her virginity (it’s simply not rapey). Further I am annoyyyyyyyed because this young woman supposedly doesn’t know ANYTHING about herself sexually. This kind of imaging has got to stop. This needs to absolutely stop.
Young women in particular need to be given not only the basics of sexuality but the whole story, ALL OF IT. Foreplay, masturbation, orgasms (clitoral, cervical, anal, g-spot), safety, and squirting to name a few important topics. WE WANT SEX TO STOP FOCUSING ON PENETRATION. And don’t get your panties in a wad here. YES, we also want penetration. I want it, crave it, DEEPLY (teeeheee) – after I feel satiated from foreplay. Christian demands: I want you to cum, Ana. While he’s simply fucking her missionary style. First, we don’t typically cum on demand (that’s a lot of pressure.) Second, few women cum missionary style. 99.999999999999999999999999999999% of the time women don’t cum upon demand with a few, or a lot of, immediate, hard thrusts. FACTS. Can we at least get the facts right?
Many women I know did not lose their virginity in a loving, gentle manner. For some it bordered on rape. For some it was rape. So here we have this opportunity (a book written by a woman) to show what it COULD BE like for a woman to lose her virginity…and she misses the mark. Why I wonder? Has she never spoken to a woman about what was like to lose their virginity?? Time and again women aren’t portrayed accurately.
Anastasia is constantly trying to set sexual limits, but Christian took her virginity and that was all it took for her to fall in love. He took her virginity and she’s a horny 22yo. And with this sort of sexual passionate chemistry there is no stopping it. It’s a freight train and she jumped on board because as that train went flying by, he was his hottie self reaching out his hand towards her and she grabbed it as he pulled her onto the train. At this point if she wants out she’s gonna have to jump off that train… and that’s gonna fuuuuucking hurt. Because it’s moving fast now.
Who doesn’t want to be pursued by a billionaire?! And Anastasia will do pretty much anything to keep his attention on her, even become a submissive, take her panties off in a high-end restaurant, and let him whip her six times with a belt. SIX FUCKING TIMES. She um didn’t even know what a butt plug was. And btw we don’t get to hear his explanation because his gorgeous female servant-workers walk into the conference room to serve salads and white wine during their sub/dom contract discussion when she asks what a butt plug is.
Christian IGNITES her… and she’s like a moth to a flame. Because as she said herself, she’d been waiting for the right man to come along. Christian asks Anastasia – why did you wait to have sex? She responds she was reading {Jane} Austen (cue Pride & Prejudice which, omg, if you haven’t seen it, plz watch) and {Charlotte} Bronte and nobody ever measured up to the characters she was reading about. She even goes on to say – she was waiting for someone “exceptional.” Christian fits the bill somehow; passion, obsession, lust, yearning. The things we confuse for love.
We are obsessed with the idea of soulmate because ultimately we want to be THE ONE for someone. We want to feeeeel like someone is willing to embrace US and no one else. To belong to them. And it can be even more alluring if that someone hasn’t chosen anyone else before. So here in 50 Shades we have the 27yo billionaire who has a proclivity for inflicting pain for pleasure – it turns him on. He’s the untouchable one. We want HIM to choose us, we want him to want us, we want HIM to give himself over to US. We want to be HIS ONE. No matter the cost. And the cost is part of our souls.
PLAYTHINGS
[some] Men love toying with women. They don’t even know they’re doing it I’m convinced, because they’re so engrossed in their patriarchy, their entitlement, and their egos. They haven’t been challenged until recently (#metoo, women are more independent). They consider themselves off the goddamned hook if they share in the beginning, “I am not into relationships or commitment,” but then go ALLLLL OUT reveling in essentially “making” a woman fall in love with them because they are addicted to women fawning over them. One question or hint from the woman asking-but what about MY FEELINGS or NEEDS-and they will take her back to “I told you” and threaten to end it all because there’s a hint of an expectation of CARE concerning the heart and soul connection that is obvious to both. I’ve been here. Several times. If you relate-you have been there too. I didn’t learn the 1st, 2nd, 3rd time. Now I’m wondering HAVE I FUCKING LEARNED this boundary yet?? Yes, I think so. But currently my solution is: I quite frankly don’t trust myself to make a healthy choice. I have expectations of someone I am fucking. Duh. There’s articles and books about how expectations fuck up relationships. I don’t disagree except to the extent that EVERY relationship has some expectations. A duty of CARE, for instance. For someone to play this sort of game is unsettling. I ask myself – why bother? Years have been spent looking for THE one. What a joke and a lie. Falling in love is a mystery no one can solve.
Meanwhile I’m having explosive orgasms while perfecting squirting while cuming using my blue dong or my glass dildo. I’m soaking towels and feeling a level of satisfaction that is incredible. Would it be fun to share that with someone? Sure. But who is the question? Who is worthy anymore? And honestly I’m not feeling great right now. Life has raked me over the coals the last couple of years. The real kicker was Covid. And now here I am and if I were standing naked before anyone, I wouldn’t necessarily feel the same confidence I have felt in the past. Not because my physical body is showing major changes but emotionally-well-processing breakups has taken its toll and ravaged me.
Where to go from here on V-Day 2024? Back to LOVE of self. Back to the LOVE that is always inherently available. All I need to do is pause, breathe, focus, and I drop in to the peace and comfort of mySELF. And that’s exactly where I want to be. That’s the passionate obsession I’m nurturing in 2024.
so many Xs and Os from me to you this V-Day!!
Be sure to take care of your V-ginas.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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icymi – see me on TikTok & Instagram: LilysLipService.
As promised:
THE LOVE CHAPTER
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013&version=NIV (emphasis added.) Accessed Feb. 13, 2024.