The morning after my V-DAY BLOG LAUNCH, I looked at some Facebook stats and noticed that SIXTY-NINE of my friends had liked the Lily’s Lip Service page. You gotta know I LOVED that. It’s one of those moments where I snicker and think “isn’t it ironic” and then have Alanis Morissette ‘s song stuck in my head for a couple hours.
SIXTY-NINE (69).
69ing is fun. It’s also a bit awkward, don’t ya think? (sorry, same song). But then a lot of sexual positions are awkward, involving my legs being stretched to their max in some sort of contortionist way even I didn’t know was possible, and I’m flexible. Take even just a “normal, I’m laying on my back, with my legs open wide” position. The legs are spread PLENTY wide. ….so then why does my lover choose to put his hands on the backs of my thighs and try to push them even wider…. or is he just resting and not realizing that I’m now going to have a pulled muscle in the back of one of my legs? What about the position where my legs are together, criss-crossed up in the air but then they get pushed back behind my head. Now that I can understand a little bit more because I see the value in having a super great view of my ass (really my asshole, not the cute, perky cheeks but, you know, to each their own).
Body image.
It takes A LOT to be comfortable being in these positions with the lights on too, or anything other than pitch black. I mean holy crap the belly rolls that occur when your legs are forced above your head!!
Somewhere along the line it’s happened for me though. I’m comfortable with my body. I like my body.
Do I want to exercise more? Yes
Do I want to pay attention to what I eat? Yes
But for the first time in my life I can say… I feel ok with what I see in the mirror naked.
WHOA
How did this happen? I didn’t have to do a million mantras a day… I didn’t have to trick myself into this. I didn’t have to “fake it until I make it”. I mean, I did do those things over the past 25 years…. but then I guess they all culminated and VOILA one day – huh!! I’m not self conscious of that roll here or that dimple there. It’s alllllll ok.
Part of that is I FEEL healthy. I am healthy. I took a test for “whole health” life insurance. My agent told me – no joke – her OFFICE had never seen a better health score EVER. lol and offered me coverage $50K above their highest plan!! I couldn’t afford it, but…… it was offered. I kinda find that shocking honestly. To be so far above most results…. so, let’s just go ahead and say, “I’m blessed w/good health” and I’m going to assume a big part of that is good genes!! (Thanks Gramps and Great-Gramps). I definitely cannot take full credit.
Me in my 40s.
The 40s are shaping up to be pretty darn cool. Goals are being accomplished and there’s some surprises along the way – like liking my body. ‘Who would’ve thought… life has a funny, funny way of helping you out.”
xoXXX