Aww damn! I intended to post TWICE before 2017 was up but then I got suuuuuuuper sick. YIKES. It’s hard (HARD: one of my favorite topics) for me to get motivated to write about sex for ya all when I’m, well, not at my best. Hope you don’t feel cheated! You know I love to indulge you with my tales and follies!! (INDULGE: one of my favorite words.)

I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m indulgent. I LooooooooooooovE the word INDULGENCE. It can be a simple indulgence (buying a pack of festive paper napkins for every holiday) or an extreme indulgence (fucking someone’s man; please don’t be too offended by that, it doesn’t happen often). Either way, I rarely say no to myself. Speaking of indulgence, I watched some porn and masturbated a few times to get myself in the MOOD to write! I’ve been sick for so long that it really brought down my libido. Whoa. Rare. Don’t get me wrong, if a hot dude had shown up at my doorstep, I wouldn’t have said no. Don’t be silly. But it took some masturbation to get my juices flowing. See what I did there?!?!?! Juices. Flowing.

What better time than the holidays to indulge? I’m a big believer in buying myself gifts while I’m out buying others gifts. I’m a big believer in White Russians the whole month of December. I’m a big believer in lots of candies and cookies and pies and giant meals from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. I’m a big believer in this big, juicy piece of red meat I’m chowing down as I write this – the leftovers from a delicious meal last night for a NYE eve celebration. (MEAT: one of my favorite topics.)


Indulgence = arousal. Oh, arousal!! It’s a wonderful thing. It ebbs and flows.

There are so many ways and scenarios and scenes and feelings and experiences that AROUSE me.

Could be watching Disney’s Fantasia. Yes, admittedly, that happened recently.

Could be while high on ecstasy. Omg that makes me recall a crazy experience I had. This was quite a long time ago. But I indulged with a former partner in some E – with another couple. Then we all walked down to the beach for a midnight stroll and full moon swim. Where they proceeded to totally get it on right next to us on the beach, while we sat and watched. Lol it was pretty effing awesome. Live porn!

But, back to the arousals:

Could be a hot guy or girl that brushes past you in a store.

Could be a walk thru a cedar forest.

Could be a dip in the river.

Could be a full moon swim in the ocean (and a blow job on the beach).

Could be shooting a rifle.

Could be getting fucked from behind (preferably there was some arousal already).

Could be when a favorite lover shows up at my door unannounced.

Could be from smelling a plumeria, or a gardenia, or a stargazer lily.

Could be just, well, I’m kinda mostly always aroused. So just about anything. The sun is shining through my window right now and the snow is glittery, sparkly diamonds; arousing!

Do not underestimate a BLUE DONG with a suction cup for arousal purposes. Am I not right? I know I’ve talked about my BD before, don’t recall exactly what I said, and I am going to confess here, I kinda forget what I write as soon as I publish the post, and I haven’t once gone back and reread any of my posts either!! So, if I’m repeating myself, well, GOOD because that means it’s doubly important; and this is super important: get toys that give you lots of pleasure. ONE of those toys may be human…or, maybe two are human. Otherwise, check out a dildo and vibrator catalog and always have a few on hand. For yourself and for sharing with your lover!

Ya, get your partner in on the toy action. Believe it or not, sometimes that can backfire. One time “a friend told me” she took her boyfriend to the porn shop thinking they could pick out a toy together to have some additional fun in the bedroom (the sex was good, she just wanted to kick it up a notch) and he ended up being a total jackass because, in his words, he “didn’t want another dick in the bedroom.” Omg. I just LOL’d typing that! The ridiculousness. How can any man be that stupid? There was NO reason for him to be insecure about a blue dong, or a glass dildo, or a big black 9 inch vibrator, with a clit stimulator….lmao. A toy isn’t a dick replacement. Not for me anyway. Cause I really like what shoots out of the real thing. I find that tasty. And nourishing.

One final note about arousal: surround yourself with friends who are also into arousal. My friends know what I find arousing. Hence, I received this photo titled: “Manta Privates”. Nothing could make me happier.



I’m not having a lot of sex these days. But I’m having quality sex. Quality sex is sustaining for a length of time that far surpasses quantity. For some reason I believe this is true for women more than it’s true for men. I believe many men have become lazy and just go for the quickie orgasm to get off. These are conversations I’ve had, so don’t get all worked up about this, guys. It’s less WORK so I sort of get it. And I don’t want to offend you guys who ARE into quality as well. I’m not talking about you, and you know who you are, so don’t get all butt hurt over these generalizations. Don’t make it about YOU yet again, ok?!?! Women deal with a lot of shitty lovers. A LOT.


The equivalent of women dealing with shitty lovers is a wife who won’t fuck her husband; or (cringing now) the wife who uses sex as a negotiating tool. Oh god, this gets motha-fucking-tricky right now!! I’m terrified to speak these words because I don’t have a husband, I don’t have children. I live a single woman’s life, with a hot hot HOT lover, and a fulfilled life in all other ways. So, I’m just giving a disclaimer right here, right now, like I’ve said before, I can’t KNOW all the truths and realities. But I hear stories and I form “opinions”, ok? Based on observations and stories and gossip and first-hand accounts it is apparent we have a whole hell of a lot of cheating going on! Probs epic proportions. Why is this? Because we aren’t feeling fulfilled. Does it excuse cheating? No, of course not.

These days it’s got to be a whole lot easier to get CAUGHT cheating too. Lots of bases to cover! Have you ever wondered if your significant other was cheating? But checked their phone records and all seemed well?? They probably have another phone. Oh, the list is endless how tricky cheaters are. I personally haven’t been “guilty” of cheating on a partner. But I’ve come (cum) reeeeaaaaalllly close.

If we aren’t getting fucked to that place that’s pretty super close to “our heart’s content” then I’m afraid there is the possibility of straying. A friend recently had an interesting observation: a crush (outside a relationship) is a sign of trouble in the relationship. I can relate to that. This, of course, is absolutely true of both women and men. I’ve read that women actually cheat more, but get caught less. Why do I feel a sense of pride in that?!?!?! And I do feel GUILTY for feeling that way. But, for one thing, women have been getting “screwed” by men for a very long time and we are fucking SICK OF IT (the recent #metoo movement, as well as all the very famous men who have been fired for sexual misconduct backs up my statement). So when women come out on top, even if it’s that we are better cheaters, well I will take it. I almost said, “we’ll take it” but I don’t want to speak for anyone else. Women must use their intelligence and intuition to cover their tracks better. As horrible as it sounds, for some reason, I COULDNT BE MORE PROUD.


There’s so many directives these days, basically commands and demands, starting with the one I just saw on a license plate: nvrstl. We are often hearing phrases like “you’re better than that” or my all-time fav: you DESERVE better. Really? What do any of us deserve exactly??? I’m going to be honest, I cannot stand the phrase, “You deserve….”





Waaaaaaaaa (like a baby)

Why aren’t YOU giving me what I DESERVE.

Let’s take a deep look at what any of us privileged Americans really DESERVE. We don’t DESERVE shit other than basic humane necessities. All too often I’m experiencing these phrases being used as a way to control others… partners in particular. Let’s get real about where control comes from. The desire to control is essentially a fear based, insecure way of responding, as in the case I speak of here, when a partner is engaging in behaviors that are unsettling to us. What we think we deserve from another individual is rooted in expectation. Therein lies the potential for some real trouble. It’s a tricky navigation. Once a man said to me, “well, at least I’m not cheating on you” during an argument. I must’ve been telling him about something I wasn’t happy about (probably that he wasn’t fucking me enough). I simply said, “that’s a given, we are in a monogamous relationship, so you don’t get a gold star for not cheating.” But is it a given? No, not necessarily.

Relationship is constant negotiation. It starts with commitment and goes from there; and there are many many opportunities that are going to present themselves for updated discussions regarding important topics; of course I’m focusing on sex because that’s what I do. A married man told me that his wife wasn’t giving him enough blow jobs. (friends, NONE of your husbands told me that so don’t get paranoid). I said – talk to her. He said that he had, that she tried to suck his cock but that she makes faces and just doesn’t like it. Well, guess what? Now’s the time for negotiation, compromise, decision. You either decide that for the rest of your life you don’t get a blow job from your wife and that you love her enough to give that up; or you decide something else. He wanted me to give him a blow job. LOL not happening I told him. If you are in a relationship and you aren’t having sex with your partner, and haven’t had a discussion about what that means for them, and for you, then you are making a BIG mistake. Don’t ASSUME anything. When we enter into relationships, it is typically on certain terms. Those terms evolve and change. Sometimes there are difficulties, and illness; enter children; or somebody loses a job and is depressed. Don’t assume your partner doesn’t want to get fucked, though, just because you aren’t in the mood. You know the phrase “fake it until you make it”? Ya, sometimes you gotta FAKE it. Not orgasms. Don’t fake orgasms. You fake a smile, you fake the desire to want to fuck, and you do it; for the sake of your relationship. Oh, there’s limits. You know that. I’m just preaching sex because that’s what I DO – preach and encourage SEX. Because SEX FEELS GOOD and makes everyone happier.


(ya, I’m saying that)

If you walk around with a look on your face like you have a stick up your ass, well then you probably aren’t having enough orgasms and you don’t have enough vices in your life. And YOU KNOW if you have that look on your face. Think about the look you’ve had on your face for the past week or two or three. Self-evaluation time. SEX and VICES make us happier. See above – INDULGE in what makes you feel AROUSED. That’s my recommendation for 2018. Add INDULGENCE & AROUSAL to your list of resolutions. One friend told me she was adding “give more blow jobs” to her list. Lucky guy, her guy!

The moral of everything I’ve just said: GET YOUR NEEDS MET, so you can feel good and be happy, without being a demanding cunt. Lol it’s a tricky balance, but I know you can do it! Remember: it’s all about GIVING. give give give. I don’t care if you think you are giving too much; give some more. If your man’s not licking your pussy A LOT after you’ve been sucking him and spreading your legs for him, then kick him out the door (get ready guys, really!). That simple, right??

For me, I have one New Year’s Resolution that I’m not sharing; and one that I am sharing: to use more whipped cream during sex, cause it sounds indulgent and delicious!