I have been DYING to get this post written. It’s been bothering me for a month because I don’t want you to feel abandoned by me! Today, I want to GOBBLE you all up because you are all so tasty and deliciously good looking (and I’d like to gobble up some luscious hard dick too)! But, since none of you are here right now I’m gonna have to settle with stuffing my face with turkey in a little while. I think of you all every day. I’ve had soooo many thoughts and ideas, wanting to get them down on paper and posted here. So, here goes. Enjoy the ride.
There’s a pretty BIG issue going on in the dating world. I would simply put it this way: A HUGE disconnect between MEN and WOMEN. There are a ton of dating sites, yet very very very few of us are truly bonding; sure, we are “matching.” What does that even mean, right? I really wish I had an answer for this. I’m having horrible experiences with internet connections and apparently it’s not just me. I’d honestly like to say this issue was only in my age category because it hurts my heart that someone younger, and in their 20s, would be experiencing the kind of disappointments I’m about to discuss below. But, a younger counterpart told me her and her boyfriend broke up earlier this year and “it seems like most other people nowadays just want to use me.” YEP. Guys want sex; Girls want connection. Has this been going on for ages and ages but with the internet and Tinder – has it just sort of given permission for men to be even bigger pigs?
NO UDP, PLEASE!
I’m generalizing guys. NOT ALL OF YOU ARE PIGS. I know many men, wonderful men. I’m referring to strangers who I’ve never met and who have no qualms: “I want to piledrive you”; “can I tie you up”; “my wife and I are looking to have a 3-some” (can we tie you up); “I’m attracted to you”; “no, I haven’t read your blog” (then proceed to do things I explicitly state are a no-go in my blog); “I do what I want cunt” (a text I received after I told someone to stop sending me unsolicited dick pics (UDP)).
Welp, no big shocker but I’m OFF Tinder, and other sites. It is so so bad and ridiculous. When I signed back on a few months ago I was quickly reminded of just how bad it is after a very short while. But I thought, oh, it’s good blog material! Then I had to get the police involved and, well, that was a game changer. Ya, the police were called. The guy who decided to call me a cunt when I told him to stop sending me pictures of his dick got a call from the police department. I’ve never met this guy. We spoke briefly on the phone and I knew right away it was a NO GO (I can’t even discuss why, our conversation was THAT bad). I don’t tend to just block people right away (mistake #1) and typically things just fade out. Not with this dude. After a month of not responding to his texts, or videos, and getting the dick pic, that was IT for me. Not for him apparently. WTF is wrong with people? Does this sort of behavior actually work for men? Does it work to send text after text, video after video with no response…. then think, oh, I know, I will send her a picture of my cock. UGH. Thankfully, the police officer didn’t find it very funny either.
I get it. We want to have sex. But, we are seeing the huge downfall, literal downfall, of men who have behaved badly and are experiencing the results of their bad behavior. It is a fine line – and even I struggle with myself and how I view sex, continually. I talk about sucking cock A LOT and I joke about being a cougar. But I tell ya, this boils down to some very simple concepts: keep your fucking hands to yourself; and don’t assume your advances of any sort are welcome. If I tell you to stop sending dick pics, why not just stop sending dick pics?
Again with the porn. Porn is a huge huge issue these days, and I believe a big part of the culprit. There is some serious objectification going on (objectification = the action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object). This is nothing new to any of us. I watch porn (as I’ve shared in the past). I just watched some yesterday. I tell you what I don’t do – I don’t assume I’m going to have THAT experience. EVER. For instance, I don’t assume or wish every guy is going to have a 9 inch dick. If you are obsessing over porn, watching it too much – and you know what too much is – then you are most likely creating some very unrealistic views for yourself. Easily objectification comes in to play and that rolls into physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological abuse. Here’s an example: in one week I had two dudes tell me they wanted to “piledrive” me. We ALL know where that’s coming from, ok?? Duh. Watching porn perhaps??
HOW FLEXIBLE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE?
I decided to Google piledrive. Just to be sure I was correct in my thought of what it is. Urban Dictionary has various fun definitions. See those here:
However, I think Wikipedia pretty much sums it up succinctly:
“The piledriver is a sexual position. Named after the downward motion of an actual pile driver, the position is executed by the receiving partner lying supine bent into a front bend in a pose similar to the yoga plow pose, bottom up, with legs bent over head, while the inserting partner stands above and inserts a penis or other object downwards into the receptive partner’s vagina or anus. Though the position is quite strenuous for both participants, it is particularly so for the receptive partner, who is severely constrained by the front bend.”
Now, I’m a fucking flexible woman. I’m more flexible than most people even when I don’t stretch for a year. I can SPREAD my legs very far apart. I can twist and contort my body.
****I will let you linger on that thought for a moment ****
But when a perfect stranger says the words, “piledrive. … I want to piledrive you”. No. I’m not going to twist, contort, or suffocate myself for you. Don’t get me wrong – if I’ve been screwing you for years; for instance, if my favorite lover says to me – I want to piledrive you – well, that’s HOT and I’m open to it because I know and TRUST him. Ya know?? If I know you VERY VERY WELL… and you just put my thighs up behind my ears and started “piledriving” me, well, I would allow it. Because I know I can stop it at any point too. However, if you are a stranger and tell me you want to piledrive me AND that you want to tie me up. HELL NO. That’s just a combo that says, whoa!!! Jeez, and I’m OPEN-MINDED and really love having sex. I’m asking myself: is this just a new trend? Like, stop the press, we are alllll piledriving!!! What am I missing? Is this actually working for guys? Makes me SMH. Slow the fuck down and turn off the porn for a while. Stop talking to me like that when you don’t even know me.
THERE’S ALWAYS HOPE!
Maybe I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I noticed something the other morning. Two men, attractive men, looked me in the eye and smiled (while I was shopping at a grocery store). This rarely happens, has rarely happened for years; the invent of the cell phone and we are all staring down at our screens instead of looking around, to see who may be sitting right next to us at a bar, at a restaurant, at the grocery store, at a show. I’m hoping maybe I am experiencing a turn in how men relate with women? Or was this a one-time fluke? Was I dressed particularly “interesting” (no, my tits were not hanging out) or was it just a fluke? What’s going on here? I’m confused as to whether or not this was a fluke, but hopeful that men will actually start looking women in the eye and making a connection. It’s an opportunity for us to smile back, to give a signal that I’m approachable. Isn’t that the way it really needs to work? I suppose I better say I’m talking singles here, of course. Sheesh, the number of men who I’ve encountered that have said they have wives but are in open relationships is kind of astounding. Oh, am I supposed to just take their word for it?
I’ve had some spectacular loverships in my life…and they’ve progressively gotten better and better so it’s anybody’s guess WHO might be around the next corner. I’m open to the possibilities. The internet is no longer where I will be looking. So, if you see me at a bar smiling at you. Well, please, by all means, come up and say hello. lol
Miraculous Moment & WHAT I’M THANKFUL FOR.
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:
Cool Whip on my pumpkin pie.
Cool Whip on my lover’s cock.
Cool Whip on my pussy.
Licking and getting licked. That includes sucking, slobbering.
Nature. You know how it is when you spend some time in nature? You feel different, right? I want you to stop and think about it – the last time you had an amazing connection to nature. Visualize it. Write out how it made you feel. I typically feel HORNY. Get me in the woods, or fairly close, and well, I’m putty. I’m picturing a winter wonderland, tall pine trees covered in snow. Animal tracks. MAGIC. Makes my pussy wet just thinking about it. I’m a huntress which is the perfect excuse to get into nature. I am happy to share I was successful last weekend. I harvested a young, delicious buck. Even as a huntress, apparently I’m a cougar!
It’s Thanksgiving and I have somewhere I need to be. I will leave you with this: I had a miraculous moment with my lover the other night. It lasted more than ‘a moment” but you know what I mean. My orgasm was waaaaaay more G-spot and that felt A-MAZING. So, so deeply satisfying. TIP: if you are doing kegels, be sure you are practicing pushing OUT, as much as you are pulling in. Then do this while your man is thrusting his cock in you – believe me, it feels amazing and creates additional G-spot friction.
I’m thankful for YOU. Thank you for reading! Without YOU, well, I’d just be blabbing for no reason at all. YOU are my continual inspiration.
Happy Holidays (be sure to really put all that whipped cream to good use after the guests have left).